


BTS Bitches

by NaraMerald



Series: Bangtan Sonyeodan [2]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 4DV, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Always a girl! Jin, Always a girl! Suga, Always a girl! V, Angry Kitten! Suga, Dance Monster! Rap Monster, F/M, Greasy! Jimin, Jitaekook, K-pop References, OT7, OT7 Friendship, Shameless! V, Sleazy Bros! V & Jimin, Sunshine! J-Hope, anti-fans, maknae line love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3948457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would BTS change if they were a coed group?<br/>Or: BTS do a Trouble Maker inspired sexy concept. Tae gets mischievous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	BTS Bitches

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [High-five Your Goodbyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144629) by [still_water](https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_water/pseuds/still_water). 



> This runs concurrently with "Bulletproof Troublemakers". "BTS Bitches" is from V's POV, "Bulletproof Troublemakers" from Suga's.
> 
> Thanks! elfiepike, for helping me with my formatting difficulties.

Taehyung is in the middle of drawing faces on her nails when the family meeting is announced, and bounces her way out to the couch. She’s excited to know what their latest concept is, (and sorry Yoongi, but the possibility of a sexy concept is pretty tempting…)

When Namjoon-oppa comes back he looks supremely uncomfortable, and Taehyung is dying of curiousity. 

“What’s the concept?” she bursts out, because so far in their concepts she’s been some sort of underground hobo girl (well really, who lives in a train station?), a straight-laced schoolgirl, some sort of futuristic-robot-person, a hip-hop queen, a rejected and obsessive girlfriend… What will she be next?

One day, she’d quite like to do an animal concept. She can see Jimin as like, an otter or something. The fans would drool over rabbit-Kookie too. She’d probably drool over rabbit-Kookie. The ‘Like a cat’ choreo is hot, but really, she’d be wasted on an animal like that… maybe a dinosaur…

She’s so caught up in her musing that she almost misses Namjoon-oppa’s announcement when he makes it. 

“Sexy concept,” he grunts out, and there’s some boring talk about dancing partners and Taehyung is ignoring it all in favour of wondering what she will be wearing and hoping she can finally crack her boobs out properly. (What? She has nice boobs. It’s a good thing too- people forgive her the weirdness when they can stare at her cleave.) 

She restrains herself from shouting “Cleave like you wouldn’t believe!” because Jin is sensitive about her chest and Yoongi looks like she’s about to murder someone. 

Without being mean about it, Tae totally believes Yoongi could cut a bitch. She’s just got that vicious rage, which probably is what makes her such a great rapper. On the downside there, she’s so cute that without that rage (and let’s be honest, like, her entire personality) she’d probably be in Apink. 

Seokjin on the other hand, has an occasionally vengeful subtlety that many often underestimate. The Bangtan Sonyeodan/ Girl line are definitely chicks Tae would want to have at her back. The boys? They’re fairly harmless- pretty cute and they splutter a lot, but the girls? Oh watch out for the BTS Bitches. 

(That’s totally going to be a thing now. BTS bitches. Yes. 1000x yes.) 

“… Jin noona and Namjoon hyung, Yoongi noona and Hoseok hyung, and… Jimin, Taehyung and I?” Jeonggukkie looks at Taehyung in alarm and she can’t help but laugh, shimmying in his direction with a wink. 

One of Taehyung’s favourite things to do these days is remind Kookie she’s a girl, because he gets so flustered; he’s super cute. When she first got bored and tried it, he had the most hilarious amazed face- she just wanted to pinch his cheeks.  


“Don’t be scared of this jelly!” Tae repeats the action, not even really paying attention to Jeongguk because Jimin’s mimicking her shimmy and she really wants to be partnered with him becase ohmygod the sleaze they would create in a sexy concept…  


“Taehyung!” Seokjin sighs, but Tae knows her heart’s not in it and Namjoon-oppa has kind of melted into a puddle in the corner, like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club. She snickers and leaves everyone to stew in their trauma while she gets some quality anime time.

~*~ 

“Oi Chim Chim!” Taehyung yells, striding into the kitchen. 

“You know you have to actually be feminine in this comeback, right?” Jin asks dryly, dolling out the rice. 

“Do I? Or do I just have to…” Tae shakes her arse skeezily, giving herself a good feel while she’s at it. 

“Taehyung!” Jeongguk and Seokjin shout scandalised. 

“Just sayin!” Tae grins, before flouncing into the room Jimin and Kookie share. 

“Taehyung!” they both shout again and yeah, technically she shouldn’t be going into the boys’ room but actually she’s also seen most of them in various stages of undress (it was a genuine accident, the first 5 times) so does it matter? 

“Chill Kookie, I’m not going to bang Chim Chim on your bed,” she snickers, and it’s a good thing Seokjin-unni and Jeongguk didn’t hear that because … well they’d melt down like that giant volcano in that move. (Yeah, she’s not too crash hot on the specifics there but eh.) 

“What’s this about banging me on his bed?” Jimin turns and thrusts his hips towards her and really, Jimin + Taehyung = soulmates forever. He’s a true bro. 10/10. She’d totally do him. 

“Did we actually find out who we were partnered with?” Tae scratches her head, because after all that she kind of forgot to listen. 

“Seriously Taetae?” Jimin pauses in making his bed to stare at her. 

“5 MINUTES VOCAL LINE!” Seokjin-unni screams from the kitchen, and oh shit, Tae’s late again…

 

~*~ 

By the time she climbs into the van, forcefully squishing herself between Jimin and Jeongguk, (shoes and socks in hand and damn it’s cold), rap line have left to go and… do whatever it is they do to write their lyrics. Kookie’s not rapping on this one, and it tends to be Namjoon and Yoongi who do the lion’s share of the lyrics anyway.

Tae tried to write lyrics once. She is officially banned. Apparently forever, but they’ll grow complacent and then… THEN…. (Mu ha ha ha ha ha.)

She also wonders sometimes what they actually do to get their inspiration, while vocal line get their singing lessons. Usually she imagines a variety of things- using pictures to freestyle whatever comes into their heads, watching old people in parks, miming things, tapping phone calls, interpretive dance, watching sad movies… She can picture Namjoon sobbing into a pile of tissues while Yoongi shakes her head in disgust. 

If it were up to Taehyung she’d pick the stupidest thing she could, write a serious rap about it and see if anyone noticed. Tae’s done that with fashion before too. 

“Wait,” she says, turning back to Jimin, “Who are we partnered with?”

Now it’s Kookie’s turn to look at her incredulously. 

“What?” Tae whines a little. 

“I’ll give you a hint,” Jimin teases, and Taehyung sticks her tongue out at him. 

“Just tell me!” she groans. 

“We’re a threesome, noona,” Jeongguk sighs, before turning bright red as he realises what he’s said. 

“Are we now Kookie?” / “Not even a date?” Jimin and Taehyung chime simultaneously, turning to lean forward and look at him, and Jeongguk sinks down in his seat, putting his headphones in and resolutely ignoring them. 

“Stop teasing the maknae,” Seokjin-unni yells from the front seat, but she’s unable to hide her own grin. 

Honestly, Tae thinks, it’s his own fault for being so easy. 

~*~ 

Yoongi-unni looks particularly vexed today- her fingernails keep inching into claw shapes and she looks like the cutest, angriest kitten Tae’s ever seen. It’s also the most revealing clothing Tae’s ever seen her wear. 

“Super hot unni!” Tae gives her a cute pose but Yoongi’s busy staring at herself angrily/absent-mindedly in the mirror. Taehyung shrugs and turns back to herself. She’s got blondish hair for this comeback, which she’s fond of, shorter than usual and a bit choppy. 

Her dress is pretty amazing, if she doesn’t accidentally flash everyone, although she’s doing better than Seokjin-unni in that department. It’s black, tight and has a cute skirt which flares out. Her neckline is higher than she’d like but she has mesh panels in her dress that show off her ribs and midriff fairly well, a small panel to show her cleavage and a giant panel showing her back, so all in all, she’s satisfied. 

Her makeup is a bit lighter, more playful- Yoongi has bright red lipstick and her trademark eyeliner, Seokjin has smoky eyes and dark red lips and Tae gets pink lips and black and gold eyes, the pop of gold to match her hair. Tae’s not really surprised that as the youngest girl, she gets the more cute and innocent style, and she loves the flared skirt, so she’s not complaining. She’s got the Suzy costume, and Suzy always gets the nice outfits in Miss A. 

Seokjin looks amazing, of course, but Seokjin is dead sexy and Tae’s always preferred fun sexy. Not that Seokjin is literally the dead kind of sexy, but… it sounded clearer in her head. Also, Tae was never going to pull off that level of sophistication.  


“Unni lookin’ gooooood,” Tae begins, “But how are you going to dance in that?” which doesn’t seem to impress Seokjin. Yoongi is still looking rather distressed. Comfortingly, Tae informs them “If I shake my boobs too much, they’re gonna fall out!”

It’s all a bit exciting really, because living life on the edge- there’s a solid 29.4% chance by her estimate that she’ll accidentally flash some nip. 

“Tae!” they groan in unison, (what, she was trying to cheer them up! Is this the thanks she gets?), before they’re all moving out for the shoot. 

Tae practically skips out, Seokjin pretty much forcing Yoongi along as the Hobi gives his usual praise and Jimin advises Seokjin “Noona don’t bend over!” with a laugh. Jeongguk, horrified, smacks him but Jin-unni just sighs “No kidding,” with a raised eyebrow. 

At this point, Tae’s busy flirting and making ‘sexy’ faces at Chim Chim and Kookie, the latter who winces at her exaggerated lip licking and the former who winks back, giving her a thumbs up and a hip roll. She’s said it before, she’ll say it again- total sleazebros4eva.  
It’s that point that Yoongi is actually revealed, bless her cuteness and violence, and then Jimin has to open his mouth. Honestly, even Tae had this one pegged. 

“Wow Noona, you look good!” Jimin has the nerve to sound surprised as Hoseok tells him off.  


“Yah! Does that mean I don’t normally?” Yoongi asks grouchily, and Tae just wants to pull her cheeks and tell her she looks amazing, but she has learnt the hard way that that is not a good idea.  


“Not like that!” Jeongguk practically yelps and he’s just giving Taehyung all the ammunition these days. She rubs her hands together in actual glee, with a “Keep it in your pants, Kookie!” and a wink. Jeongguk turns a lovely shade of tomato, with Jimin attempting and failing to take a photo while Namjoon stops Yoongi from face-palming. 

Then they get on to filming, and crush triangle are last and get to watch all the hilarity. Taehyung’s just happy because she gets a lollipop, and maybe she’s already unwrapped it even though it’s supposed to be for the shoot, but they’re professionals, they’ll have more. 

“How sexy are Hoseok-hyung and Seokjin-noona?” Jimin utters in admiration. 

“Pretty hot. But in all seriousness, how is she even going to dance in that?” Taehyung wonders. 

“Terribly, according to past experiences,” Jeongguk says drily, because they’ve all seen Seokjin’s dancing at her best, and worst, and that dress is not going to help matters at all. 

“How come we don’t get roses?” Jimin whines. 

“Because you look three and Jeongguk is three,” Taehyung shoots back, to twin exclamations of aggravation from the rest of the maknae line. 

Jimin steals her lollipop with a muttered “I’m older than you,” and Jeongguk sulkily counters “I’m not three!” followed by an “I look older than Jimin!” 

“Jimin-hyung!” Jimin insists, sticking Tae’s lollipop in his mouth. 

“Mine!” Taehyung attempts to get it back and Jimin laughs, shuffling out of her reach. Namjoon and Yoongi wander over at this time, Namjoon giving them the “Don’t mess up your clothes” warning eyes. 

“Kookie!” Taehyung pouts, wanting his support and Jeongguk simply snorts at her before she spies an opportunity to steal back what is rightfully hers from Jimin. 

“Mine!” she cries in triumph, sticking the lollipop back in her mouth. Ooh, strawberry. 

“Indirect kiss!” Yoongi smirks, and Jimin’s jaw drops in surprise. 

“It’s a lollipop,” sighs Namjoon, and really Tae doesn’t get what the big deal is either. 

“Indirect kiss!” repeats Jeongguk, gaping, looking between Jimin and Taehyung. Namjoon begins dragging Yoongi away for their photo shoot. 

“Was that your first kiss hyung?” Jeongguk teases, and Jimin’s eyes narrow even as he blushes. 

“Why do I only get hyung when you’re being a little -” Jimin begins, watching them speak to the photographer. 

“Language!” Taehyung singsongs, as the photographer begins posing ‘confident couple’, Yoongi looking uncomfortable and stilted. 

“Jimin’s first kiss!” Jeongguk crows, with Jimin loudly denying “It wasn’t even a kiss!” 

When their amusement finally fades, they turn to Taehyung. 

“Was it your first kiss?” and Taehyung’s bored so she replies “Honestly Park Jimin, that was a terrible first kiss!” and sets Jeongguk off laughing all over again. 

“You’re dead Tae,” Jimin threatens, and Tae can’t help herself as she replies “How unromantic. Let’s run away together instead Kookie!” 

Jeongguk crosses his arms in the x symbol of rejection. The nerve! (Stupid rabbit.)

Finally after confidence couple’s rather uninspiring shots, the photographer calls for ‘Crush triangle’. 

“Now crush triangle is the first love/crush feeling between a boy and a girl, only there are two boys falling for the same girl,” Photographer-nim announces, as if this was a truly visionary, original concept.

Taehyung’s happy they get to sit on the couch, posing carefully to show a little more ‘innocent’ leg than she would normally, leaning forward with her face in her elbows and a content smile on her face. Jimin and Jeongguk lean back behind each other, glaring over the top of her. 

“Come on, you’re feeling possessive boys, you want her for yourself!” the photographer tells them, and she can feel both of them laughing. She’ll kill them. 

In the next one, the boys are right up next to her, with Kookie’s arm around her shoulder (“Hug her tight! Crush her to you!”) and Chim Chim’s hand on her knee. (“A little higher- no. Too high. Move it back down. Yes there.”) 

There’s some sort of discussion that Tae happily tunes out, leaning back on Jeongguk and closing her eyes, before they shoot another one, and she realises she’s switching a fabric couch for a human couch. 

Jimin and Jeongguk get to kneel, one knee up, on the floor and she’s going to sit perched on their knees. It takes a bit of juggling before she even bothers to get up (“You need to move closer. My ass isn’t that big,”) and then Jimin mutters “Isn’t it?” and she discreetly kicks him in the leg. 

Then she gets to sit there. “Your knees are so bony. My ass is going to be bruised,” Tae complains. 

“Aren’t all of our asses bruised…” Jimin groans, thinking back to their brutal dance practises. 

“Well maybe Kookie should have been more gentle last ni-” she snickers, smiling brilliantly at the camera.

“TAE!” 

Ironically, their combined outrage is so priceless it is immortalised forever as one of their promo images.  


~*~

In the van on the way home, Taehyung is musing her costume and life in general and murmurs “Man, boobs are amazing.” Which apparently leads to Jeongguk becoming curious about life.

“What’s it like having boobs?” Jeongguk wonders- not quietly enough, to Jin’s shock.  


“Kookie’s growing up!” Jimin laughs and discreetly high fives Taehyung. Jeongguk promptly elbows him in the stomach.  


“Aggravating,” Yoongi grumbles, staring downwards in apparent disgust.  


“Convenient!” Taehyung chimes in, because really, they’ve saved her on so many occasions.  


“Well you can’t leave us hanging now…” Jimin turns to her with a “Get it, get it? Hanging…” and she wiggles her eyebrows.  


“Having to wear bras, having to always make sure you don’t flash anyone… the weight… it’s tiresome,” Yoongi explains, and Jimin’s just flat out eyeing Yoongi’s chest, and then finding nothing visible under her jumper, defaults back to Tae.  


“But you can get stuff for free if you flash ‘em!” Taehyung admits, because let’s be honest, more ice cream? Yes. Free lollies? Yes. Discounts? Yes. All of it, yes. (Except blacked out vans. Definite no there, mmmkay?)  


“You’ve flashed people?!” Jin and Jeongguk yelp. Even Yoongi gives the girls an assessing glance- Taehyung is the biggest in Bangtan and sure, sometimes it’s a pain to keep that shit locked down in dance practice but they’re fun to play with when she’s bored and as previously mentioned… the discounts... 

But that makes her curious in turn. She’s always wondered… “What’s it like having a dick?”  


“TAEHYUNG!” Jin yells in horror, and suddenly Hoseok, Namjoon and Jeongguk are looking everywhere but at her.  


“Nope. Nope. Nope.” Namjoon is having some sort of existential crisis.  


“Oh, why not?” Yoongi objects, and Tae doesn’t always get on board with her feminist shit but she is 100% behind this. Why not?  


“Nope. Nope.” The boys can be real wimps sometimes and are only too happy when Jin changes the topic. 

Jimin, who’s always been a sucker for Yoongi-unni, whispers that he’ll tell her later, and Tae’s gonna call him on that! 

~*~ 

Tae breezes into the Jikook room like she owns it, startling Jeongguk. 

“Jesus Tae, knock!” Jeongguk mutters. 

“What? Not like I haven’t seen it all before,” She brushes him off. 

“You HAVE?!” he practically stutters. 

“Anyway, what’s it like having a dick?” Taehyung sits herself down on Jimin’s bed and watches Kookie turn red. 

“Warn a guy!” Jimin sputters a little. She responds with her best impression of a blowfish. 

Fine, she can be the bigger person. 

“Boobs are great and all, except you need to wear bras all the time, because they hurt if you don’t. They’re fun enough to play with and they feel good most of the time. Um… sequinned nipple covers.” Tae finishes. 

“Sequinned nipple covers?” Jeongguk can’t help his distaste. Jimin is mouthing “fun to play with” and giving her a dark kind of appraising look that sends shivers down her spine. She ignores it in favour of Jeongguk’s disgust.

“Sure. That has to be an upside for someone, right?” Tae shrugs and Jeongguk’s horror says she’s created some sort of nightmare visual in his mind. (Her work here is done.)

“Now dick.” She reminds them bluntly. 

“Right here!” Jimin winks at her. 

“You guys are the worst. The worst.” Jeongguk grumbles. 

“Uh… obviously it sucks with zippers. Zippers absolutely suck.” Jimin begins. Jeongguk winces. 

“Have you both… been zipped?” Tae asks dubiously, and both of them cringe, Jeongguk’s hands actually shifting minutely as if to cover his groin. 

“I think every guy has at one time noona,” he informs her. 

“Ow,” Tae’s a contender for understatement of the year. 

“And obviously being turned on sucks… so obvious…” Jimin explains and Taehyung looks down at his crotch, wondering how they do ever manage to hide it. She’s read things on he internet- surely shoving it beneath their belts doesn’t actually work? 

“Can you not?” Jimin rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t want to look at my boobs?” Tae taunts. Jimin shuts up very quickly. 

“$10,” Tae sticks her tongue out. 

“Rip off,” Jeongguk snorts. 

“You probably haven’t even seen boobs before…” Jimin argues. 

“And you have? Besides, you can’t even kiss!”  
“Can so!” 

“Not according to Taehyung!” 

Tae decides now is the perfect time to flounce out, before Jimin tackles her. A thump and some muffled cursing is a strong sign she was correct.

~*~

The dance practices go about as well as one can hope. Yoongi-unni fails hilariously at being seductive, Namjoon-hyung is like a grandpa trying to act cool, Soekjin is doing far better than expected but stops every 5 seconds to drag her tiny dress down, Hoseok-hyung is usually the one reminding her to take her dress down and that’s before they even get to the group choreo. 

Tae is dead centre for most of the choruses, the point of the V (get it? V in the V? Actually that sounds awfully kinky now she thinks about it…) so she can maintain the triangle with the boys. Then the other partners are on the outer V, and means Namjoon’s at the front with Hoseok, which he’s not enjoying. 

In the first break, through Namjoon’s verse, and Seokjin’s pre-chorus, Jimin pushes her up against the backdrop, holding her there, which is supposed to be romantic. It’s probably only actually romantic for people who are into BDSM, Tae thinks logically, or people who think “50 shades of gray” is a healthy romance. (She’s read the book. Newsflash, no people, no.) 

That said, Tae’s not minding it. Jimin however, is definitely minding Jeongguk’s sniggering. 

“She’s taller than you dude. You can’t do the back hug because you’d be invisible behind her,” he laughs and Jimin discreetly flips him off. It’s true though- Jimin has to be the person in front because she is taller than him, to his eternal frustration. 

Then they jump into the chorus, and unlike normal where she tends to sing the pre or post chorus, her vocals are actually happening in chorus, so even lyrically and musically she’s playing vocal tag between Jimin and Jeongguk. She’s pretty happy she can do the solid chorus lines and Jimin still gets to do the emotional screaming she teases him about so much. 

She’s used to dancing her way through her vocal lines, but the added focus of being in the chorus makes her a little more nervous than usual. She resolutely ignores that fact that the fans will be out for her blood anyway- she’s got a good voice so she’s not terribly worried. It’s just… a slight step up, that’s all. 

Post chorus, she takes a few steps towards Jimin, before being back-hugged by Jeongguk through Yoongi-unni and Hoseok-hyung’s raps. Unlike Yoongi, Tae’s usually pretty affectionate but Jeongguk’s a bit more reserved and his embrace is tentative in the beginning. 

“Your hug is like bland kimchi,” Tae comments at one point, and can practically feel Jeongguk roll his eyes and tighten his grip around her waist, his arms uncomfortably warm. He’s only just taller than her, so he has to move closer. 

Sometimes she forgets what’s going on and starts moving around to the beat, and sometimes Kookie uses his physical strength to hold her in place so they don’t get told off. Sometimes it’s frustrating because she’s fidgety, and other times it’s frustrating because it’s sexy as hell.

“What are you doing Tae? That’s not even in time…” Jeongguk asks into her neck, as she moves around absent-mindedly. “Got Lollipop stuck in my head,” Tae sings along “Lolli-lolli-lolli-pop oh Lolli-pop-pop” which totally contradicts their track which is playing. 

She feels Jeongguk move slightly, and tries to follow his attention, only to see Jimin making faces at them, and makes faces back until they switch to the chorus. 

The girls’ chorus choreo is only a few steps up from what Tae had to memorise for talk shows, so while her thighs ache, it’s not really unusual. It is a bit tame, more restrained than she’d like, so when she gets bored or excited, she goes for it. Unfortunately, this does not endear her to choreographer-nim. 

“Okay girls, to the floor. Left leg out… slowly bring it in… and up… no seductively Suga… V you need to stop pouting, you look like you’ve had surgery gone wrong. Excellent Jin!”

“Less hips V. Less arse V. Less everything- come on V!” 

She so does not look like she had surgery gone wrong and she will thank Jimin to stop snickering, especially considering he’s the one who keeps staring at his own mirror image.  
(She bets he strokes his abs at night when he – oops, don’t go there. Eyes on the prize. Wait, not eyes, mind. Mind on the prize. Not that prize. Not Park Jimin’s prize…oh damn it all.) 

“V? What are you even doing?! Again from the top!” It’s a long day, and a too-short night.

~*~ 

Laughter draws Taehyung out from her dorm room into the kitchen, hoping for breakfast, and she immediately sees Yoongi-unni, who’s in RapMon-Lap-Purgatory for being so stilted and unnatural in her poses. Jeongguk is snickering at her, and feeling a sense of camaraderie (and a little spite), she grins evilly and jumps on Jeongguk.  


“Oooh are we sitting in people’s laps?”  


“What- get off Tae!” Jeongguk does an odd growl/shriek and Tae winks at Yoongi. 

“Who’s awkward now?” Yoongi retorts and that’s when Jimin runs in and joins the fun, leaping on top of Tae. The weight is crushing her, so poor Kookie is probably being smooshed into a fine paste below them both. She can’t quite find any sympathy within herself.  


“Ooof… get off!” Jeongguk is whining and Tae is ignoring, wriggling around to be that much more aggravating. 

“You love it Kookie!” Tae obnoxiously rolls her hips and Jimin whistles “Tae Tae!”. Yoongi is now trying to focus almost anywhere else. 

“Not… sexy… at… all…” Jeongguk practically wheezes, a little short on air, and mischievously, Tae makes sure to accidentally elbow him as she shifts again, Jimin is laughing.

By the time Seokjin comes in, declares “Nope” and walks out again, Hoseok is joining the team by slipping onto Yoongi’s lap and fluttering his eyes at her, placing his hands around her neck. Namjoon, much like Jeongguk, is struggling to stay up and stay breathing. 

Jimin, showing impeccable timing, screams “Come on Seokjin noona, stacks on!” 

Jin returns and Taehyung actually chortles, because to Yoongi and Kookie’s dismay, she’s got a camera.  
Click.  
“Ha! Let’s upload it!” Jimin suggests, and even Tae’s not that crazy. 

“Bangtan threesomes…” Taehyung murmers just quietly enough for the boys to hear.  


“Don’t you dare-” Jeongguk warns.  


“That’s don’t you dare Hyung to you!” Jimin reminds him, and Jeongguk finally shifts enough that they do overbalance, Jimin managing to catch himself and Tae hitting the floor with a dull thud. 

Her ass hurts, but it was totally worth it to see Jeongguk in his tomato phase hiding in a corner. The others dismount with a good deal more grace physically and emotionally.  
“Breakfasts in Bangtan!” Taehyung announces happily from her position on the floor, discreetly soothing her posterior.  


“My life,” mutters Jeongguk. Tae likes to think they improve it. 

~*~  
Another day, another dance, another 10 back hugs from Jeongguk and another bored Jimin pressing her up against the wall. At one point Jimin actually body rolls up against her and Yoongi shouts “Yah! My eyes! Kids these days…”

He was barely touching her. Jeongguk is giving them a weird look, so Jimin and Taehyung devote their time to blowing him kisses, fluttering their eyes and generally making suggestive gestures however they can manage it. 

Jeongguk is literally not even looking at them by half way through the practice- she guesses the ice prince gets bored of Jimin biting his lips and feigning an orgasm (they started out innocent and got progressively racier with each run through) and Taehyung implying fellatio when she knows no one else is in their line of sight. 

Even they get bored after a while, but it seems like sacrilege to admit it. Besides someone has to educate their dongseng. 

When they’re finally free, Namjoon-hyung sends Chorographer-nim out and Yoongi collapses on the floor. Tae decides that while Jimin’s checking himself out (and they are nice abs, to be sure) she’ll finally attempt that twerking move again (it’s an unequivocal failure but she has fun), yelling “Check this booty!” before she nearly drops herself onto her face. Near miss, that one. 

Then she trudges over to the rest of them lying on the ground and joins the pile. When Namjoon-hyung returns, he sort of awkwardly slithers all over them and not enjoying the extra heat, Taehyung goes with the fastest way to get him off-  


“Guess where your hand is…” she singsongs, and he’s practically lightening fast as he scrambles to get off the pile, kicking poor Hoseok’s head en route.  


“Ow!” yelps Hoseok, holding his temple.  


“Sorry Hobi!” Taehyung shrugs, to Hoseok’s disbelieving face.  


“Are we in second grade here?” Yoongi asks.

Taehyung, Jimin, Namjoon and Hoseok all start singing loudly “nun ggamjjakal sae i hangnyeoni dwae” and Yoongi groans at the use of their song.

“Should have seen that coming…” she mutters, as Jin staggers to her feet.  


“Let’s go and shower. Also… girls night tonight!” Jin announces to Tae’s glee.  
She begins to drag Yoongi along before the older can try to sleep. “Yes! Shower! Let’s shower together, I don’t want to wait!”

The boys have apparently been thinking pervertedly, because there’s a gasp (more than one, she thinks) and when she turns round, no one will meet her face. Omo! 

“And then let’s have a pillow fight…” and now Jin is dragging her away, “in our underwear…” 

She wishes she could be a fly on the wall for the boys’ conversations when they leave, and mentions as much during their shower. 

“Can we not talk about this when we’re naked?” Seokjin whines slightly, clearly disturbed. 

“Sure unni. I won’t tell them you were naked and thinking about them!” Tae grins, and gets smacked in the face with a shower sponge in revenge. She steals Seokjin’s nice shampoo as some payback of her own. 

After shower time, even Yoongi deigns to wear a facemask, and Tae’s extremely happy bundled up in her fluffy robe. So fluffffayyyyy. 

“What would you do if you woke up tomorrow, and you had a dick?” Taehyung asks them earnestly. It’s a credit to how well they know each other that they don’t even shriek at the question. 

“Scream, cry,” Seokjin says flatly. 

“What the- How do you even- WHY?” Yoongi appears bewildered. 

“What would you do?” Seokjin becomes curious. 

“Try it out!” Taehyung says, like they’re crazy, because c’mon, who wouldn’t?

“With who?” Yoongi asks sceptically. 

“Whatever. Those cushions. Blankets. Anything. Everything,” Tae decides, because really, if she woke up with a dick, as long as it wasn’t a blender, she’d shove it pretty much anywhere. 

“Burn the cushions,” Seokjin shudders, and they peel their face masks off and wash their faces. 

Makeup and mask free, they take a few minutes to relax before Seokjin breaks the silence.  


“Do you think this is a mistake?” Seokjin nearly-whispers. Yoongi doesn’t bother playing dumb.  


“Getting the boys to see us as women?” Tae clarifies, scrunching her face and she’s kind of wondering the same thing.  


“And getting us to see them as men,” Seokjin twists her fingers around nervously.

“I hope not,” Yoongi says without enthusiasm.  


“Hobi-oppa, eh?” Tae raises her eyebrows exaggeratedly at Seokjin, but thinks really, if she had to spend so much time in close quarters with that guy’s thighs encased in a sharp suit… well best not to think of that.  


“It’s not like that! It’s just… you spend so much time with them, so close to them… so often, acting sexy… ” Seokjin-unni protests, a little too much Taehyung thinks.  


“What about Namjoon?” Seokjin asks Yoongi sneakily, “You spend 24/7 plastered to his lap now.”  


“It’s weird,” Yoongi’s dreaming if she thinks the girls will settle for that answer. 

“Does he ever get a hard on?” Tae wonders. Man, that would be awkward. At least Kookie could move away from her if needed, and Jimin isn’t that close either but Namjoon would never be able to hide it while Yoongi was on his lap.  


“TAE!” the others yelp, and she’s not sure why because, c’mon, totally legit question here.  


“What? Just saying… does he?”  


“No!” Yoongi gapes, actually waving her hands around in denial, fire hydrant red and looking ready to explode with a geyser of water.  


“What about you? Two boys at once?” Seokjin’s smart enough to go on the offensive as a defensive.  


“I wish! Damn!” Tae answers truthfully, because really, Jikook are a catch, (well, sometimes anyway) and Jin shrieks once more, Yoongi moaning “Why…”.

“Did you just picture it?” Tae is delighted at another easy target for mental manipulation.  


“Why would you picture it?!” Jin sounds as miserable as Yoongi is.  


“No choice! My mind just does it!” Yoongi-unni practically growls.  


“Picture… Jimin stripping off his shirt…” Taehyung begins mischievously.  


“No, no no!” Yoongi protests, and Jin changes the topic. 

They talk about random things- dresses and audiences, dreams of food they’ll eat endlessly when they’re no longer idols and not on stupid diets, whether or not coloured mics are worth it, who is their favourite girl group (2NE1, yeah? GI… ) and then trail off into a kind of lovely, contented and most definitely rare silence. 

“Why is your skin so nice unni?” Taehyung asks Yoongi. She’s always wondered, and it became some sort of pep talk for them as they complimented each other against the people always looking to tear them down.  


“Why are you so pretty and slender, unni?” Yoongi asks Jin, patting her on the shoulder absent-mindedly.  


“Why do you have such giant boobs, Tae?” Jin asks Taehyung, who gives them a lazy jiggle in response.  


Tae sighs, everyone else is sighing, but it’s nice. They’re all in agreement when Seokjin-unni suggests massages.  
“Definitely massages.”

~*~  


A few days later, things are not going well. Yoongi-unni is off, most of them put their foot in it verbally and make it worse, and they do the choreo again and again and again. Taehyung’s stomach twists weirdly when she sees her elder so thrown- she’s used to unni being confident, calm and lazy. The world tilts unsurely when she sees her so stressed. 

It’s also rare to see Yoongi and Namjoon argue, and this sends another frisson of unease down her spine. Maybe she’s a little quieter when they trudge out to lunch, maybe she doesn’t pipe up any of her usual nonsense. It happens, sometimes. She can’t be ARMY’s 4D alien all the time. 

Namjoon-oppa notices, and takes a seat between her and Jimin. She thinks the latter is also thrown, because they’re both a bit quieter. Jeongguk no doubt noticed too, but sometimes he can put these things to the side a little easier, where Jimin will mull over them again and again. Taehyung isn’t often thrown, but when she is, it takes her a while to recalibrate. 

Knetz have accused her of faking her personality, but really she’s only so good at acting. Sometimes she can trick herself into really feeling emotions, but that’s a double-edged sword… 

Luckily, Seokjin is great at distractions. 

“You’ve got 1000,000 won. What do you spend it on?” Seokjin-unni tosses out the question seemingly randomly as they eat. 

“Big Bang tickets!” Jimin muses unthinkingly. 

“Accoustic panels and base traps,” Namjoon lists off recording equipment. 

“Lots of fuzzy caterpillars,” Taehyung decides. 

“Make up- wait, what?” Seokjin turns to Taehhyung. 

“Caterpillars, Tae?” Jeongguk asks with a long suffering sigh.

“All the cute furry caterpillars,’ Tae grins, picturing them crawling around over her fingers as she coos at them and names them all ‘Batman’.

“1000,000 won worth of caterpillars… that’s a lot of caterpillars Tae…” Jimin is dubious. They always doubt her genius.

“They’d be everywhere…” Seokjin says with something like revulsion.

“Noona, you’d just step on them and then you’d be really upset,” Jeongguk informs her, and with a grimace, she realises he might be right. 

“One really big one then. That I can ride.” Taehyung decides, loving the idea of her furry cuddly new best friend. (SuperTae going into battle with her best buddy BatCat…erpillar… wait. That needs a little more consideration.) 

“I’ve got a big one you can ride…” Jimin’s retort is ruined by the fact he is practically crying with laughter, as Namjoon-oppa smacks him in the back of the head and Jeongguk mutters “As if.”  
She thinks she sees a twitch of a smile on Seokjin’s lips before she ushers them out of the restaurant to begin the walk back to the practice studio, aka the abode of hades.  


On their return trip, Taehyung’s thoughts drift back to the weird ambience of the studio, and whatever situation is going on with Yoongi. (Really, it could be the concept, self esteem, the haters, the fans, the fans who end up being haters, the other idol groups, management, the underground rap scene… sometimes it’s really tiring being Bangtan.) She ignores that thought. 

She’s glad Yoongi wasn’t alone in the studio, because Yoongi’s not naturally sunny and sometimes needs a bit of help to get back to happiness. Hobi’s gentle love and positivity does far more than Tae’s randomness could have, which is why they all adore him, and probably why he stayed back and no one objected. Sometimes she wishes she had his soothing, supportive qualities, but time has proven again and again that as much as she once tried, she can only be herself. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to cuddle him and hope it passes to her through diffusion though. (Get it? She hopes? He he.)

When they come back, Yoongi-unni’s eyes are red, like she’s been crying, and Taehyung opens her mouth to ask what she can do to help… but then they start dancing and she misses her chance. She feels off all afternoon. They all do. 

Taehyung has no idea what she can do to support Unni, so she just hangs around, babbling whatever comes to her mind, prattling nonsense to try and take Yoongi’s mind off of her troubles. Jin grabs her a glass of water, and without even needing to plan, they slither into Yoongi’s bed, (Seokjin with far more grace than Taehyung, who accidentally puts an elbow in Seokjin’s stomach, causing an “ooof” sound that makes Yoongi giggle a little). 

They go to sleep, and if Yoongi-unni’s pillow feels suspiciously wet, Tae isn’t going to say anything. She just hugs her tighter.  


~*~

 

“WE SLEPT WITH YOONGI LAST NIGHT!” Taehyung screams into Jikook’s dorm, with Jimin groaning and Jeongguk actually throwing something at her, attempting to claw their way back into sleep. 

“Jeon Jeongguk, did you just throw your underwear at me? Bold, dongseng,” Taehyung laughs, having no idea what he actually threw, but Jeongguk obviously has a heart attack, (“What?!”) scrambling up in horror to try and work out what he threw. 

“I don’t care Tae,” Jimin turns over and she sits down on his bed. 

“Chim chim,” she croons. 

“Go away Tae!” 

“Chim chim!” 

“No really. Go away,” Jeongguk adds sourly, wide awake now and clearly resentful. For once Tae decides to take the hint, and goes to make breakfast with Hoseok-oppa and Seokjin-unni. It’s mere minutes before she’s relegated to watching anime, for everyone’s sake. Cooking is not her forte. 

 

~*~

After practice, she’s sort of puttering around the dorm room, Jin absently cleaning her bed when Yoongi comes in pacing. Yoongi’s got this restless energy, and keeps deciding to do something, changing her mind, freezing, and then attempting to do something else. It’s probably about their MV, which will be released tonight, and then the shit will hit the fan. A Bangtan sexy romantic concept- Taehyung has been deliberately avoiding the internet for a while now since their concept became public. 

“Did you want to talk about our comeback? Our MV drops tonight,” Seokjin asks Yoongi, who practically jumps into the air like she was being subtle. “How do you even…”  


“You’re obvious unni!” Taehyung interjects and this seems to both startle Yoongi and prod her into finally admitting her fears. 

“Are you nervous about antis?” she asks. (yesyesyesdon’tthinkaboutit)  


“How can I not be?” Seokjin-unni sighs, pausing in her activities and taking a seat on the bed heavily.  


Taehyung’s mouth is moving without her conscious thought, yet again. “What about me, I get Jiminie and Jeonggukkie. I’ll need to watch for snipers,” she says, and her mind is still screaming (Abandon ship!)

“I am the “princess” of BTS. We’re finally doing a more girly concept and… I mean, I just don’t measure up to other girl groups. I’m not a great singer, I’m not a great dancer…” Seokjin practically whispers and Taehyung moves over and head butts her gently in the shoulder.  


“Unni, you’re great as long as you’re not rapping,” Yoongi laughs, and they all grin, even if it’s a little wobbly.  


“I have an anti-café already.” Yoongi admits, and Taehyung is shocked but doesn’t know how to show it. Anti-cafés… 

But then when she thinks about it, “We’re all going to have anti-cafes,” Tae realises, and it’s like she knew it all along, but she didn’t know it, wasn’t admitting it, and she’d really like to shove that knowledge right back where it was before.  


“Maybe we should look at it as a sign of popularity? Better to have antis than nothing?” Jin asks doubtfully.

“We’ll stick together,” Taehyung insists.  


“BTS together forever?” Yoongi is so cute. Her aegyo should be against the law. Tae just wants to like, swish her and hug her and pet her and … 

“BTS bitches forever!” Tae grins grabbing one of each of their hands and shaking them oddly.  


“Ghen chan ueul gguh yah! It’s going to be okay!” Jin scrunches her face up and punches the air with her free hand.  


Even Yoongi’s feeling the love at this point, biting her lip with her eyes smiling and Tae’s so happy she just wants to dance. 

“So… talk over. Drink time?” 

Why do people always throw things at Tae?  
…  
Taehyung wants to celebrate, and celebrate they do, with drinks as they watch their MV go online. Taehyung sits between her unnis in her pjs (“We’re alone over here Taetae! Where’s crush triangle without our third?”) and Yoongi posts a “Bangtan Sonyeodan” girl line selca, ignoring her “BTS bitches booyah!” suggestion, which, rude! It was a great caption! 

“Drinks! Where’s the orange juice for Kookie?” Jimin nudges Jeongguk next to him cutely and Jeongguk growls half heartedly at him.  


“Hey! I’m of age now!”  


“Jiminie be nice!” Yoongi interjects, but everyone knows she’s amused because she’s smiling again, and everyone’s smiling and Taehyung is so happy she could burst. The fact that they’re teasing Kookie is just the icing on a really, really delicious cake. Mmm, cake.  


“What was that line the international fans used to hashtag? ‘Go to bed Jungkook’?” Hoseok keeps it up and Jeonggukie can pretend his annoyed all he wants, he knows they love him and they know he loves them too. He’s still smiling, they’re all still smiling and Tae wants to freeze this moment and keep it forvever.

“Kon-bay!” Namjoon begins, and they all drink their soju with a shout of “Kon-bay!” and the fun begins. Seokjin is renowned for being unable to drink Soju well, and Namjoon is grinning at her faces. Taehyung senses the time is right and drags Hobi up to shake their jelly. 

“C’mon Hobi! I challenge you to a booty off!” Taehyung says, running for the middle of the room and throwing her hips around abundantly. She’s never allowed to do it in practise, but she and Hoseok egg each other on with larger, bigger and more ridiculous rolls, twerks, shakes and shimmys. 

They’re having so much fun, so energetically, that even DanceMon-hyung joins in, their faithful leader all angles and things flying off cupboards. Seokjin, decidedly unprincessy in her baggy t-shirt decides to give up on trying to prevent Namjoon from destroying things and just enjoy the show. 

Seokjin finally gives in and joins them and they add some of the most horrifying aegyo to their routine that has ever been seen before.  


“Namjoon that’s terrifying,” Seokjin wheezes, staggering against the wall.  


“Look at Taehyung!” he whines, “How can you even open your mouth that wide? What happened to her eyes then?”  
And Taehyung makes the ugliest face she can manage just for him. 

She turns back to see the cutest of the cute- Chim Chim and Kookie leaning their heads onto Yoongi-unni as they watch and she holds out her hands and shakes her hips at them. 

“C’mon Motionless Min, show me some Suga!” and then they’re all dancing and how could this night get any better than Bangtan shaking their booty in a tiny room in a dorm in Seoul?  
Everyone slaps Namjoon’s butt (“Hey, gentle, jeez!”), and Taehyung’s hand is stinging and she’s about to collapse from the laughter and the slight buzz of soju. 

“Hey- let’s reverse the choreo. I want to try the girls’ dance…” Jimin suggests, and Hobi’s instantly beside him.

Jimin of course is super smooth, ridiculously sexy and could be one of the girls. 

“Park Jiminie, why is it you look better than I do doing my own damn dance move?” Yoongi whines, pouting cutely, and Tae does try to pinch her cheeks. She’s lucky Yoongi is in a good enough mood just to swat her away. 

Hobi’s technically on point but too cheerful to be sexy, Jeongguk’s more intense than she thinks any viewer would be able to handle. (In sexy choreo, he’s always either a bit distant or way to intense for anyone’s wellbeing.) 

Namjoon is well deserving of the ‘Dance Monster’ tag. His entirely serious face as he attempts to slide to the floor sexily, taping his fingers along his thigh is just… 

“Namjoon, never do that again. I’ll have nightmares,” Seokjin snorts, very unladylike.

Tae is chortling, and continues laughing right through the swap as the girls do the boys’ parts and Tae has a lot of fun, deciding to sing along too. 

She alternates some of Jimin’s lines, wailing as loudly ad passionately as she can pretending she’s crying like her heart’s been ripped out (Jimin cringes) and some of Namjoon’s. For some reason, he also cringes, as do Jeongguk and Yoongi as she stomps around talking shit, freestyling whatever words (and occasionally random sounds) come into her head and waving her hands in a way she feels is totally gangsta. 

Seokjin and Hobi are totally on board with this though, applauding, Seokjin freestyling in turn and Hobi asking for encores. 

At the end of the showcase, Namjoon-oppa announces “No more drinks!” to Tae’s disappointment.  


“No more dreams!” Hoseok-oppa grins cheesily and Tae can’t help high fiving him because, classic.  


“We need to stop doing that with our song titles,” Kookie cringes and Tae shakes her head with a shit eating grin, resolving to try and engineer more of the situations. (“You know what I need?” is a line she’s going to test out first thing tomorrow. She’ll have to think harder to elicit ‘Everybody say no’.) 

“Come on, bed time. We need to be ready for our stage tomorrow!” Leader-oppa says, and some of the fun dissipates a little, to Tae’s disappointment. So she makes a suggestion.  


“Let’s sleep together!”  


“Tae!” Jeongguk eeps, she stares for a second before she realises what they’re thinking. Perverts.  


“I mean let’s make a blanket fort and sleep together!” She announces, boxing their idea of a Bangtan orgy and putting it in the back of her mind for later. 

Taehyung is a little surprised when Yoongi actually agrees and goes to get her pillow, Jimin shouting and doing the same and everyone else falling in line. Taehyung is so excited. Why have they never done this before? She must be a genius. 

They settle down, Taehyung between Yoongi and Jimin, Jeongguk then Hobi, then Seokjin then Namjoon. (He has to be on the outside for everyone’s safety.)

Taehyung is smart enough to know that talking would get her in a lot of trouble, so she just snuggles down, one arm thrown over Yoongi, one arm sneaking down to clasp Jimin’s hand and stares at the ceiling, listening as the others drop off one by one. She half wonders if she regrets her idea when Namjoon starts to snore, but Jimin’s hand squeezes hers in the darkness. 

“Hey Taetae,” Jimin says quietly. 

“Yeah?” she asks sleepily, turning to face him in the dim light. He seems to be thinking of something, and she just watches what she can see of him, which to be honest, is not much. 

His blankets rustle slightly and then she feels warm pressure on her lips- it actually takes her about 30 seconds to realise he just kissed her. 

“My kisses aren’t bad,” Jimin insists in the dark, and Tae leans into him, hugging his shoulders to muffle her giggling as he starts laughing too. He’s warm and comfortable.

“Can you not?” comes Jeongguk’s tired voice on Jimin’s other side. 

Tae whispers “Don’t be jealous,” even as she and Jimin think in tandem and she pushes Jimin up, him already leaning over to give Kookie a kiss too, resulting in some muffled exclamations from the maknae.

“Shhh,” Taehyung instructs him obnoxiously, and she can practically feel his glare through the darkness. In the end though, they roll over, and Taehyung falls asleep with the feel of Jimin breathing on the back of her neck, hugging Yoongi in front of her.

…

When she wakes up the next morning, it’s insanely early. Seokjin has already gotten up and apparently taken a photo of them all, Hobi is sitting and Jeongguk has cuddled into Jimin who has cuddled into her. She’s cuddled into Yoongi who is latched on to Namjoon who is lying in what is possibly the oddest position imaginable, limbs splayed every which way. 

She tries to sit up, Jimin protesting in his sleep, and with an evil grin, she redirects him into Jeongguk, gently manoeuvring their hands to meet and clasp, gently trying to shift Jimin so he rolls over and his head faces Jeongguk’s. 

Success! Jimin murmurs quietly in his sleep and faces Jeongguk. She gestures to Jin, who smiles cheekily and takes a few photos for her. Then Tae ever-so-gently grabs Jeongguk’s other hand, trying to move it over to Jimin’s stomach, under his shirt.  
Suddenly his hand grabs on to hers and startled, she looks back to find Jeongguk’s woken up and is glaring at her. 

“Err…” Tae tries to think of an excuse, and then with her free hand, just mimes being quiet and sleeping. Jeongguk gives her a dark look, sees Jin and her phone and looks back to Taehyung who has a decidedly terrible poker face. (shit) Seokjin, the traitor, disappears into the kitchen, leaving her to Jeongguk’s mercy. 

The grip on her hand has tightened and Jeongguk’s got his “evil maknae” look on, the one he usually uses to appear badass for fans. This look never bodes well in the morning. 

“Oh… look at the time,” Taehyung laughs nervously, “I have an appointment…” but she is saved by Seokjin telling Hobi to wake them all up, because today is show time, literally, and they’re on M-Net Countdown today and then they’re all busy trying to dodge Namjoon’s flailing limbs as he returns to consciousness. 

~*~ 

Taehyung is resolutely ignoring her nerves by tormenting Jeonggukkie, poking him and then darting away to hide behind Hobi. She and Chim Chim make a special effort to look out for Yoongi-unni, who seems to be doing well. Their warm up goes smoothly.

It’s all going so quickly – their warning cue to perform, leaving their dressing room, heading to the passages under the stage and then the platform rises and they’re on. 

Taehyung listens to the fans scream indistinguishable words, pours her heart into the chorus and her body into the dance, and thinks it’s barely a second until they’re trudging off the side again, finished already. 

Bangtan bounce off the walls a bit, skipping, hopping, jumping back to their dressing room, all high off the audience’s energy. Taehyung whoops and runs to find Jimin who collapses in a chair, flushed and jittery. She sits on his lap and tugs on his hair, pulling his head back and forth, because she’s so amped up and that was amazing. (Again please!)

She doesn’t even notice when Jeongguk walks up to them, and is surprised by a hand on her shoulder, spinning her back around. She pauses and blinks, looking up at him curiously. He’s right up close to them, right in their space. 

The rest of Bangtan are still coming back to themselves, coming down and readjusting. They don’t even glance their way. Jeongguk is insistent, serious, no hint of a smile as he stares them down. 

“You two have been teasing me,” Jeongguk says quietly, just loud enough that Taehyung and Jimin can hear. Taehyung wants to say “duh” but the intensity of his expression as he stares into her eyes, then Jimin’s, silences her. 

Jeongguk lifts his hands, one hand going to her face to trail softly along her jaw and one hand going behind her, Jimin tensing beneath her as the other hand makes contact with him. Taehyung has literally been shocked into silence. She can feel his hand softly trailing over her skin, giving her goosebumps. She wants to shiver. 

“It’s not nice to tease,” Jeongguk continues calmly, and his hand slides under her chin, thumb swiping across her lip, rubbing back and forth. She thinks she can hear Jimin make a quiet noise below her. 

Then, tilting his head to glance at them for a second longer, (eyes piercing into her soul, what the fuck, who is this, where is their perpetually embarrassed maknae) he takes his hands away, pauses to look at her lip gloss glinting off his thumb in the light, then smirks at them and walks off as if nothing happened. 

Well, thinks Tae. Jimin is motionless beneath her. 

“Did that just happen?” Jimin finally manages, and she bets he’s gaping too. She tilts her head in curiousity, and watches as Jeongguk starts chatting to Seokjin without a single look back. Fine.

Game on, Kookie.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know how this happened. 
> 
> >> Because every girl I’ve ever spoken to, in response to the question “What would you do if you woke up as a guy?” unanimously answers “Stick my dick into anything and everything”. 
> 
> >> “I have an appointment…” (Ji Sukjin’s hilarious reaction when he runs into (and away from) Kim Jong Kook on Running Man and is subsequently made out.) 
> 
> Talk to me, friends.


End file.
